


don’t let me in with no intention to keep me

by tielan



Series: The Taming Of The Wild [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Civil War (Marvel), F/M, Happy Ending, Maria Hill is a BAMF, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Ragnarok (Marvel) - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 11:54:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5827615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tielan/pseuds/tielan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He signed up for an army that didn’t want him, for a chance that would change his life, and earned a one-way trip into a future he never imagined, and a war that could never truly be won. And the part of him that wasn’t a soldier didn’t make it out of the ice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	don’t let me in with no intention to keep me

**Author's Note:**

> The other half to [you should never know how easy you are to need](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5785369) \- Steve's POV.

Steve Rogers always wanted to make a difference.

So he signed up for an army that didn’t want him, for a chance that would change his life, and earned a one-way trip into a future he never imagined, and a war that could never truly be won. And the part of him that wasn’t a soldier didn’t make it out of the ice.

This is what he has, who he is.

* * *

When does he realise Maria’s chosen to walk away?

Perhaps when she stops staying overnight. Perhaps when she takes a call from an old friend – an ex – and she laughs with him about things that aren’t S.H.I.E.L.D or the Avengers or World Security. Perhaps when Bucky comments that he hasn’t seen Hill anywhere in this mess that’s rapidly becoming the Registration Wars.

“Did Hill side with Stark in the end?”

Nobody’s mentioned Maria until now. Not Sam, not Barton, not Maximoff. Steve isn’t sure what that says; he isn’t sure what it says that Bucky’s addressing it now. “Stark would be a lot more subtle if she was working with him on this.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.” Because he knows Maria, and she knows them all, could rein them in, would have called them out if she was here. She would have found them all a road they could walk.

Fury gave little of himself and expected everything of them; Maria worked with them, lived with them, laughed with them...

She loved him.

Maybe.

Steve’s not adrift without her; just alone.

* * *

When does Steve see that he was out of his league?

Maybe when the light dies and the dust clears and the set of her shoulders is as speaking as the Hammer she wields. Maybe when she looks at him as though he’s no more than Stark when it comes to the protection of the world– insignificant and in her way. Maybe when the Asgardian man murmurs something in her ear as Steve walks towards them, and the soft quirk of her smile at him stabs Steve to the soul.

He doesn’t let it show in his voice. “Commander.”

“Captain.”

“So you’re deserting us for Asgard?”

“Earth has the Avengers to protect it. It doesn’t need me.”

“Are you sure?”

She gives him a hard, steady look – all Hill, no Maria. “Yes.”

 _I need you._ But he traps the words before they can escape. She doesn’t want him – not like that. Why should she? He’s the ultimate supersoldier, the first and the best and a good man – but Mjolnir accepts her hand upon it.

What’s Steve Rogers in the face of _that_?

Too much hero, not enough sacrifice.

* * *

When does he understand that she tamed him to her hand?

Is it when he co-opts Jane Foster’s bridge and takes Stark’s teasing without retort? Is it when he confronts Thor and sees the flare of relief in blue eyes? Is it when he arrives at the edge of the universe, where one woman and her unborn child holds an eternity of chaos at bay?

She approaches warily, as though he’s still wild.

_One alone can hold it back – but one plus one in body and spirit together…_

Steve thought Thor spoke of him and Maria. “You could have told me.”

“I was needed here.”

“I would have understood.” He would have handed the shield over to Bucky, and come to be her shield in a fight that truly mattered. _One plus one plus one…_ “If you’d told me. If you’d wanted me.”

“That’s not—” She stops herself, visibly. “I can’t afford you, Captain.”

“I’m standing right here; call me by name.” Hope and fear clog his throat. “Maria.”

When she steps into his arms and murmurs “Steve,” he feels like he’s finally thawed through.

 

“ _That's how you'll end up, Mr. Bell, if you let yourself love a wild thing._ "

_~ Truman Capote ~_


End file.
